Hey, beige here.
If you don’t know me, I’m beige! My friends sometimes call me “cream,” or “khaki.” After one glass of wine I start telling people I’m “buff,” which I think is pretty funny but doesn’t always land.
Anyway, my name comes from the Old French word bege, which means “the natural color of wool and cotton.” So what you see is what you get with me. I’m au naturel, baby. Hashtag no filter! That wasn’t a joke. I am totally raw.
Some people see my plainness as a lack of personality. They think I’m boring. Bland. Ordinary. But I think that’s unfair. Just because something isn’t neon or tie-dyed doesn’t mean it’s not interesting. Look at cheese pizza and vanilla ice cream. They’re both plain, yet widely loved. Plus, did you know that the color of the universe is called “Cosmic latte?” All of space and time — everything — begins and ends with something slightly beige. Maybe the problem isn’t me, then. Maybe people who don’t appreciate plain things are just unimaginative.
Sorry, I got carried away there. I’m not usually like this. It’s just that we’re approaching summer — my time to really shine — and I’m sick of people not giving me the recognition and praise I deserve. I used to be the pinnacle of style. Sexy, even! When you thought of me, you saw Richard Gere unbuttoning his linen pants in American Gigolo. Ralph Lauren supermodels running down a beach. Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson in Something’s Gotta Give. Heck, I made minimalism possible! Calvin Klein and Jil Sander would have been nothing without me in the ’90s.
But since then, people have become skeptical of me. I blame Tom Ford. And now Alessandro Michele. Everything’s been Gucci-fied, or logo-fied, or crossed the line into camp. There’s no cool restraint these days. More is more and luxury is extra. But I sense a shift on the horizon. I think people are over-stimulated and exhausted, and that I’m the antidote — the A&D ointment to this flaming hot rash of a trend cycle. Okay, that was perhaps a bad metaphor. But you know what I mean. I’m soothing on the eyes, and work nicely with all skin tones.
It’s been an uphill battle, but my revival has been in the works for a while. I guess I have Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West to thank for not only making me an integral part of contouring, but also Calabasas “desert” style. Plus, Riccardo Tisci, who celebrated me with countless looks at his debut Burberry show. After that, Refinery29 admitted that it was “hard to deny” my appeal. Vogue said I was one of the “most important” trends of the spring 2019 season. Even street-style stars love me now. What can I say? I’m effortless; the fashion equivalent of no-makeup makeup.
Soon, you’ll all come crawling back. It’s fine. Whatever! I would make a big deal about it, but that’s just not my nature.
Scroll down for 11 beige things to buy right now.
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