By Josh Nason, WrestlingObserver.com
Follow @JoshNason
A lot can happen in 14 years, especially when you’re in the world of professional wrestling. From the time WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event meekly disappeared from the airwaves in 1992 to its two hour return in 2006, WWF had changed its name to WWE; WCW had risen, fallen, and been bought by WWE; we experienced the Attitude Era; Steve Austin and The Rock had become the two biggest wrestling stars in the world and in the top 5 all-time; RAW and Smackdown were born, and WWE became a publicly traded company.
The return was part of a bigger arrangement between NBC Universal and WWE, one that would last just two years before everyone realized there was plenty of WWE to be found on TV.
I have to admit that I wasn’t looking forward to this show. The reason I started doing this weekly journey was that I wanted to go back to an old era — the era that created a fan. Seeing a lineup that included John Cena, Randy Orton, and HHH made me feel like this would be an extended version of RAW with little substance and a lot of filler. (In other words, every RAW or Smackdown that airs today.)
I gotta tell you, though, that I really liked this edition. It was essentially the go-home show for Wrestlemania 22 and all the stars were out including many that are no longer in WWE. Seeing guys like Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio, Edge and even Chris Benoit made me still feel nostalgic for a time when there was a stocked roster and lots of fun pieces to move around on the chessboard. If they were going to bring the show back as essentially a two-hour informercial, they did it the right way…mostly.
If you’re new to these reviews, it’s a weekly journey through every episode of WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event on the WWE Network. You’ve missed a lot, so dig back through our archives to catch up on what you’ve missed.
– Airdate (live): March 18, 2006
– Runtime: 1 hour, 27 minutes
– Location: Cobo Arena* | Detroit, MI
*Yes, they kept the arena open even after the tragedy of The Giant falling off the top of the building…and surviving.
We kick off with a series of backstage promos done directly to the camera. There’s no Okerlund, Mooney, or Ventura back there anymore, folks. However, we do get Vince and Shane Mcmahon with Dad saying that he’ll make Shawn Michaels’ “‘life a living hell’. HBK retorts that if he’s going to hell, he’s taking Shane with him.
We get a quick promo from Motorhead facial hair era HHH who is interrupted by WWE Champion John Cena who lets him and everyone else know that the champ is here. Alright then.
JBL is wearing a fake moustache and says that while he’s not Earl (a nod to an NBC show at the time), he’s going to challenge Steve Austin to a beer drinking contest tonight. We then flip to the Boogeyman who stares at the camera as worms spill out of his mouth. Can you imagine an NBC exec seeing this and thinking, “Yeah, this works.”
We get our open which has no tieback to the original SNME. It’s a very 2006 era open with a a guitar-driven theme and eye-burning quick hit clips. It’s a full pyro open and the inside of the Cobo creates a really cool looking stage setup.
We get our best announcing team in SNME history with Jim Ross, a purple suit jacket-clad Jerry Lawler, and Tazz. Tazz welcomes Ross back as JR was out recovering from colon surgery. Without any delay, we get right to the first match of the night.
WWE Champion John Cena & Triple H vs. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio & Randy Orton
This isn’t your daddy’s SNME: no pre-match promos. We get black-clad, camo hat, Reebok Pump high top wearing Cena, a skinny Kurt Angle, and the “Legend Killer” version of Orton who has a full head of hair and arms devoid of the sleeves of tattooed skulls he decided he absolutely needed.
Cena and Orton start us out until Angle gets tagged in and German suplexes Cena in a way that would make Brock Lesnar proud. The arena is also full of pyro smoke as the building’s ventilation fans weren’t turned on prior to the pyro going off. I used to work for a hockey team and we did pre-game pyro. If the vents weren’t kicked on, the smoke just lingered for 20 minutes. My guess is the vents were too loud and they decided to give off the look of most Snoop Dogg concerts instead.
HHH gets Germaned a few times by Angle because he’s a company man, and eventually we get Cena vs. Mysterio which is fun while it lasts. HHH reminds us Mysterio is small, pulling Cena out of the way of a 619 and clotheslining Mysterio flat.
As you might imagine, the story here is that guys are teaming that are going to battle in just two weeks. HHH wanted Cena to cheat while Vince McMahon just wanted Mysterio to go away…or something like that. There wasn’t a lot of tension between Angle, Orton, and Mysterio as the focus was on Cena and the future COO.
Ross, Tazz, and Lawler were talking up the difference between Smackdown and RAW as if they were two separate companies. Remember when they tried to do the whole brand split and couldn’t resist mixing up the talent before saying, “What’s the point?” I feel the snark coming on..must remember…Terry Funk…table spot.
Like in the current day, Cena was lustily booed every time he got offense on Orton or Mysterio. The end came when Cena hit the F.U. (Attitude Adjustment for you youngin’s) on Orton and HHH broke up the pin, hitting the Pedigree and leaving him laying.
As the ref counted, Mysterio pulled Orton off Cena because babyfaces don’t win that way! HHH then got back in, Pedigreed Mysterio, and got clotheslined out of the ring by Angle. Orton then hit the RKO as Angle turned around, preparing for the day when GIFs would rule the world.
As he went for an RKO on Cena, the wrestling specialist turned it into a schoolboy and got the pin on Orton for the victory. HHH pointed to the Wrestlemania sign, Cena pointed to his belt, and they pointed to each other. This match was fun but needed more Angle, but I assume he physically just wasn’t there. He would be gone from the company later in the year.
They kept in the promo clips for Mania 22 which was the “Big Time” Mania. The trio went over the Hall of Fame inductees which included reigning and defending SNME MVP “Mean” Gene Okerlund, Eddie Guerrero, Verne Gagne, Sensational Sherri, and Bret Hart.
We go to the back where Booker T is in serious pain with Queen Sharmell, a doctor, and others by his side. Smackdown GM Teddy Long is asking about what is happening and Booker T said his knee popped. Sharmell wants his match with the Boogeyman tonight cancelled. Because of the doctor’s long-winded suggestion, Long cancels the match. Booker gives a quick smirk when that happens and the heels nefariously and quietly laugh as they leave the room. I smiled as well as I didn’t care to see the Boogeyman vs. Booker T.
Then, we get Edge and Lita (showing quite a bit of mid boob) out for a Cutting Edge segment. We get a callback to RAW where he gave Mick Foley a Conchairto. Lo and behold, Foley is their guest tonight. You know, they’ve never explained who books the guests on these “talk shows”. Is there a booker? Do they talk to agents? I need to understand this.
Lita runs down Edge’s accomplishments and Edge says he’s ready to beat Foley at Wrestlemania. In the ring, there’s “hardcore” weapons to make him feel at home. Edge says Foley is not the “Hardcore Legend” anymore and that he’s a cuddly bear who plugs outside endeavors and goes for cheap pops. Edge was such a great heel, wasn’t he? As Foley comes out, Edge lights the table in the ring on fire which lasts about .5 seconds before someone with a fire extinguisher puts it out. Lame!
Foley then forgoes any conversation and attacks Edge in the corner, dumping a giant bag of thumbtacks in the center of the ring. He starts punching Edge who teeters and totters by the tracks before Lita hits Foley with a chair. Edge then tosses Foley into the tacks and the heels take off. Foley sits up, smiles, and comes after the startled Edge with a chair. They clashed in the aisleway before Foley got the best of him and returned the favor with a Conchairto of his own, pausing to remove tacks from his bleeding forehead afterward. Fun segment!
We get a great video package of Vince and Shane’s issues with Shawn Michaels. This is a quite different Vince than the man who was the SNME pitchman for seven years and rode a horse with Jesse Ventura. This is also a completely different Michaels than we saw on those late 80s SNMEs and that was part of the first title change in show history when he beat the British Bulldog in 1992.
For some reason, the camera is in Booker T and Sharmell’s locker room where they’ve apparently just had sex. How they don’t know a camera is there is beyond me. As Booker does the most ridiculous dance, the room goes red and the Boogeyman appears out of nowhere, sending the two running past Long and Carlito who are having a conversation outside the door. Booker was faking, don’t you see?
The Dallas-esque music hits and out comes the white limo with JBL. The ring is full of pitchers and cups of beer. JBL’s left hand is all bandaged up as it’s broken. He tells us this segment is what NBC executives were waiting for and proceeds to run down the Detroit sports teams, the American auto manufacturers, and anything else that Vince would find funny. He says that he is going on to face Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania for the U.S. title, so there’s your reason for the company disclaimer at the beginning of the show.
As he talks, the glass breaks and Steve Austin drives out in a black pickup truck, squealing the tires. Tazz says that on WWE.com, Austin gave some of his favorite Texas greats of all time and JBL wasn’t on the list. As Austin talks, people chant ‘What?’ — the WORST thing he ever did for the business. Austin says he had an egg and 24 beers for breakfast and 15 pitchers for lunch. As he goes to drink one there, JBL puts his hand on Austin’s hand to prevent him, the equivalent of smashing Hulk Hogan’s championship belt, dude.
Side note: if someone drank 24 beers and 15 pitchers by mid-afternoon, they would probably be in the hospital.
JBL says there are 25 beers for each of them — “Canadian beers” — and each guy has one minute to drink as many as they can. This drags a bit but you can tell there’s no scripting as they start busting each other’s balls including a “one minute man” joke by Austin that has both of them cracking up. The contest starts and JBL is pouring beers on himself to cheat. Austin asks him what’s he doing and he tosses a beer in Austin’s face (above) and scurries off. Benoit charges out, tosses him back in the ring, and Austin douses him with everything he’s got. Austin then dons JBL’s hat and stuns him, busting up the bridge of his nose.
Candice Michelle & Victoria vs. WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus & Mickie James
To the back and Candice Michelle (remember her?) is with Victoria and they’re admiring her Playboy cover (remember that?). Victoria says to forget that and it’s time for some action. As they come out, they tease a kiss similar to what The Beautiful People do now.
As James heads out, we get a video package of how she is Stratus’s biggest fan and all the issues her obsession caused which included Stratus telling her to get lost. This was the psycho era James and we’re told she was a sub for Torrie Wilson who got a concussion.
Referee Mickey Jay missed a tag from Mickie James (let that phrase roll around in your head) and Lawler said he “must have been blinded by passion”. The end came quickly when Stratus hit Stratisfaction on Victoria for the pin. James never got in the match.
James grabs the mic and says she wanted to say goodbye to Stratus the right way and extends a hand. The two shake hands and James goes in for a kiss. Stratus turns her cheek and James hugs her like a nut. She then delivers a Chick Kick and knocks Stratus out before hitting her own Stratisfaction. Lawler: “She doesn’t get even, she gets odd.” This was every women’s tag match you’ve seen in the past 10 years except slightly better.
Back from break and an off camera Jonathan Coachman interviews James who says that Stratus broke her heart and now she’s going to break her. Ross tells us this access is called WWE Unlimited, their early attempt at garnering more viewer engagement during commercials.
More Wrestlemania 22 match plugs: Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon, Edge vs. Mick Foley, Undertaker vs. Mark Henry, Chris Benoit vs. JBL, a six-person interpromotional Money In The Bank match, tag champions Kane and Big Show vs. Chris Masters and Carlito, Booker T vs. Boogeyman, World champion Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio, and WWE Champion John Cena vs. HHH for the first time. Looking back on this now, we’d kill for a deep Mania card like that, wouldn’t we?
Mark Henry and Daivari are out and we get a package of the dispute between Henry and the Undertaker. It began when Taker was about to pin Angle for the World title on Smackdown, and Henry broke up the pin and big splashed Taker through the announcer’s table. Daivari was Henry’s manager?
Daivari and Henry begin cutting down the Taker’s accomplishments as all heels are wont to do during Mania season. The gong and dry ice hit, and a group of six druids came out with a casket. Shortly behind him walked the Taker. Ross put Henry over as his toughest challenge to date.
Taker got in the ring and the two started brawling. As they did, Lawler was completely quiet as apparently this was just a Smackdown feud and thus, he had nothing to add. As Henry fled the scene after he was booted over the barricade, Taker turned his attention to Daivari who got a chokeslam and tombstone on the casket for his trouble.
Street Fight: Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon (w/Vince McMahon)
Well, because this is the new SNME era, there’s no Death Spot Match Of The Night. Rather, we have a main event. HBK came out first, followed by “Here Comes The Money” and the awesome dancing of Shane-O-Mac. Michaels didn’t want to wait and came up the ramp to attack first. Michaels nailed Shane with a chair and pulled out a table from under the ring. However, Shane reversed an Irish whip and sent Michaels flying into the ringpost.
Shane’s attire of choice was the Shane-O-Mac jersey with ‘Heartbreaker’ on the back. I really loved how in every match, he would do something subtle to put down the other guy.
Shane then set up a ladder in the ring and Vince held Michaels on the table outside the ring. Michaels escaped, fended off a pesky Vince, and then superplexed Shane from the ladder to the outside through the tables. I jumped up, chanted “This is awesome” to the dog, changed “E-C-W” to my wife, and immediately filmed my entry for Tough Enough.
We get back from break and both guys are back in the ring and moving slowly. Michaels took control and set up another ladder on the inside of the ring, but out of the frame, Vince hit him in the back with a kendo stick to prevent his attack. The McMahon/McMahon pairing was so great. Damn it, Shane. Come back!
Lots of Shane offense on HBK with the ladder, made even better by how both guys were selling how hurt they were. Shane was working over Michaels’ back and then clamped on a surfboard which made sense because he was working on an injured body part. Wrestling! The crowd stayed on its feet following a superplex spot, a testament to how into this they were. I don’t blame them as this was a lot of fun to watch.
Shane hit a floatover DDT for two, laid in a chair shot to Michaels’ head, and set up for his version of the Van Terminator. Michaels moved and the can went into Vince’s face who was holding both it and Michaels. Michaels had a huge babyface comeback that was freaking awesome. HBK hit the big elbow drop and the Detroit faithful are going nuts. He setup for Sweet Chin Music, connected flush to Shane’s head, and just as we were about to get a clean pin, Vince pulled Mike Chioda out of the ring.
Also, it was funny that when Michaels set up for the kick, some crowds clapped and others started counting. Detroit was a numbers crowd and got up to a random six before Michaels threw the kick. I thought that was funny.
Michaels tossed Vince back in and was about to lay hands on him, but Shane came to, low blowed HBK, and locked in a Sharpshooter. Vince told the timekeeper to ring the bell immediately because Survivor Series 1997, giving the submission win to Shane. The crowd went dead silent and we ended the show with Vince and Michaels glaring at each other.
As fun as this show was, that finish was annoying and the crowd was immediately deflated. Michaels would get his revenge, but out of context with what was going on, it was a frustrating end to a show full of stars. Overall, this was a good edition of the show in its new format.
The next episode continues our final march through the last four episodes and features a classic post-Attitude Era rivalry in the main event. See you Saturday!